“Resilience is accepting your new reality, even if it’s less good than the one you had before. You can fight it, you can do nothing but scream about what you’ve lost, or you can accept that and try to put together something that’s good.” – Elizabeth Edwards
I’m eagle-eyed, meaning I have better than 20/20 vision, but I may have a visual processing disorder because life is not without irony or a sense of humor. I see well if not quickly. Maybe it’s a natural consequence of seeing more details. Heightened senses are funny that way. Anyway…
Whenever people talk about how bad 2020 was, I wonder how it sounds to people who’ve only known tough times. On a personal level, the year, like my vision, was a mixed bag. We’d been through worse financial times, and long since adapted to a modest lifestyle. We own our home. It’s old, and the layout is nonsensical and inefficient, and the storage sucks, and I’m pretty sure a family of angry squirrels live in the attic and the walls, but it’s ours. Food anxiety hasn’t been a concern, either.
I think the word of the year was resilience, or maybe adaptation. People with more experience confronting adversity demonstrated better coping skills. Even people with less experience who recognized privilege learned to make the best of things while others behaved like spoiled children at best and raging sociopaths at worst. If 2020 didn’t dispel the myth of rugged individualism, no year can. A truly strong person can roll with the punches.
I took advantage of my unplanned time off and the lack of film and theatre opportunities to color my hair all those colors I always wanted to try, but didn’t dare, like ruby and amethyst and hot pink. I also learned I have natural waves, and subject my hair to more abuse than necessary. It was a little thing, but took the edge off. Being easily amused has its benefits.
I finished Silly Little Monsters once I was done homeschooling the boys. My husband released his own anthology in January. We had an event planned with fellow writers at the Book Loft in Ohio, but had to cancel. We were going to stay in the German village, and I was hyped for a German restaurant that has salted caramel cream puffs, and there was also a French patisserie in walking distance of the venue. We would visit a museum with a NASA exhibit on the way for my space loving son. That was probably our biggest disappointment, and for a year that saw others lose jobs and loved ones, it’s pretty minor. Hopefully we will reschedule someday, and I’ll have at least one book to promote when we do.
I did not get as much work done on a full length novel, but I did maintain a workout routine at home, giving barre and HIIT a try, and spent plenty of time hiking with the boys. I’m a little behind in karate, but testing for my third degree brown belt soon. The boys returned to school every other day in person in the fall for hybrid learning. I had more work than usual so I wasn’t entirely surprised when we went to fully remote learning the last two weeks before Christmas, but at least there was a routine and regular instruction in place. My husband is still working from home indefinitely.
We’ve had friends and relatives who battled Covid, some for weeks, but we haven’t lost anyone. We did lose a dog in the fall, but due to old age, and she passed peacefully at home – which is as much as you can hope for. Our last elderly dog is hanging in there. So far, she seems content and comfortable. Our cats are healthy. Our rats are more numerous than intended, but we have extra enclosures, and that particular mishap – as adorable as the outcome(s) is/are – won’t happen again. One parent is a son’s first pet.
Our other son wanted a pet of his own, but his first choice, a snake, was a non-starter for obvious reasons. His second choice was a bearded dragon, for whom “pinkies” are only optional and not mandatory, but my husband was concerned about the lifespan/commitment. I suggested keeping an eye out for someone rehoming an adult, and wouldn’t you know, we found one that very weekend. I’m glad we started with an adult because reptile care is a lot more complex, and there’s so much that can go wrong. There’s a lot of debate over diet and habitat, but we err on the side of caution.
When I wasn’t researching bearded dragons with my son, I researched tarantulas. I always wanted one, but I was daunted by live food prior to the lizard, and I had three other people to convince, one of whom is terrified of spiders. I chose a caribena versicolor. The jewel blue sling won over my arachnophobic son. It will be pink, purple, and green as an adult. They generally have a docile temperament, but you’re encouraged to limit handling of tarantulas for their safety. Adults feel like origami to me, their exoskeletons are so light and fragile. My husband rediscovered his enjoyment of keeping an aquarium, and I have a small one of my own.
Our house may be a zoo, but the messiest inhabitants remain the boys. Fortunately they are better at caring for their pets than they are at self-care and cleaning their room. I’m hoping one will eventually extend to the other. Enjoying our strange little family contributes to the lack of angst 2020 caused us. My sons pursued knowledge on their own. Both are passionate about animals and the arts. One still wants to become a pilot with the goal of being an astronaut. He received a telescope for Christmas, another interest that can be pursued no matter what happens in 2021.
We’re fortunate to have the means, but I’ve seen others with greater means take for granted ways of making their own fun. If you were lucky, 2020 was an opportunity to pause and reflect, and even try new things you might not have otherwise considered. The way any of us have always done things isn’t the only way things can be done. This can be extended to issues of greater social import, but I’m trying to keep things light this evening. I look forward to a time we can safely enjoy the things we once did, like live music and theater, but hope we can throw away things that don’t bring us joy (not books, though – donate!) or things don’t work as well as a different approach might.
Happy New Year.
May we approach 2021 with greater self awareness and regard for others.
