A witch ought never to be frightened in the darkest forest, Granny Weatherwax had once told her, because she should be sure in her soul that the most terrifying thing in the forest was her.

Wintersmith by Terry Pratchett

Girls hear early and often the dangers of leaving home alone. Even women are cautioned against early morning or late night jogs without a running partner. The concern was rarely bears or other wild animals. In fact, I follow a WNY hiking group that discourages solo biking or hiking because of a serial killer years ago. So I’m among those confused why some men are surprised women would rather be alone in the woods with a bear than a man.

Encountering a bear, even in bear country, is rare. Attacks are even rarer, and they usually involve factors like careless food disposal or selfie attempts. At the risk of victim-shaming, people high on entitlement and low on common sense keep park rangers and law enforcement agencies busy, and still attacks remain rare despite our best (worst) efforts. Most bears just want to be left alone to enjoy their fish and fermented fruit in peace.

Relatable.

A momma bear will be more aggressive if you go near her cubs, and I wouldn’t want to run into a grizzly during mating season (though sexual assault and unwanted pregnancy are not the concern) but bears remain low on my list of fears after mosquito bites, poison ivy, and sunburns. Personally I’m not that worried about people, either, but the threat of boredom or annoyance is enough to make me consider the jaws of death as a welcome alternative to socializing. Some of you are exhausting and no fun at parties.

Man talking to woman who looks uncomfortable at party. Caption reads: "But bears are dangerous. How do you not get that?"

(And probably the first to blame sexual assault victims for being alone.)

A lot of men also pick the bear. One mentioned men arm themselves camping for fear of other men not wild animals. Speaking of guns, I’ve known hunters who have dodged more bullets than bear claws, even while sporting hunter orange to avoid such mishaps. And that’s the thing. A person doesn’t even need ill intent to harm you. A nervous Nelly or an overzealous hunter with bad eyes and crap aim can also be a danger. Does a bear shoot in the woods?

My fears are data driven (weird pool shark phobia notwithstanding). Violent crime is down, including homicide. People are more likely to be assaulted or killed by someone we know. One notable exception is Native Americans who are not only more likely to be victims but less likely to know the assailant. Some defensive men invoke racist tropes, but perpetrators typically victimize people of the same race. The data is consistent with my lived experience, so I do not fear other races more than my own.

And nobody tries harder to convince us of men’s inherent predatory urges than certain political hacks now feigning offense. As for the reinvigorated restroom debate, if you’ve read previous posts, you can probably guess I don’t want anyone sharing a bathroom with anyone. Men have never needed to pretend to be women to assault them. It’s a crime of opportunity. Boys and even men can be victims, too (even though TERFs minimize crimes against them).

Back to the data, we’re all more likely to be attacked by a person than another animal – especially if you throw politics into the mix. I recently drove behind some dude with aggressive gun stickers all over his car, and one sticker calling who knows who the c-word today. I’m guessing he doesn’t support red flag laws or appreciate women picking the bear over men like him in particular. Why are men who can’t even go to the grocery store unarmed surprised women fear men, anyway?

I don’t think it’s bears skulking in the produce section that they’re worried about.

Anyway, if you do see a bear, the latest recommendation is introducing yourself and making noise. I haven’t seen clarification on using a fake name, but I’m 99.9% sure they won’t stalk you on social media. Dunno what you’re supposed to do if you see another person. You could try the same thing. Maybe it will scare them off. Maybe they’ll shoot. Most likely you’ll be fine. Bear spray is also an option, but a heavy application of citronella and zinc warpaint may be enough to deter men, bears, mosquitos, and solar rays.

alywelch

If the writing thing doesn't work out, my backup plans include ninja, rock star, or international jewel thief.